Fertility

Fertility challenges and pregnancy loss are among the most psychologically complex experiences a person or couple can face, yet they are often among the least supported. The grief is real, the medical process is relentless, and the emotional toll on relationships is significant. Unfortunately many people find themselves navigating it largely in silence, uncertain how to talk about it or where to turn.

My clinical work in this area is inspired and partially-informed by my own experience with subfertility and pregnancy loss. When my wife and I were navigating that journey, I searched for a male therapist who had meaningful familiarity with these issues. That therapist was nearly impossible to find. That absence stayed with me and became a deliberate part of how I've built my practice.

I work with individuals and couples at all stages; those in active fertility treatment, those who have experienced loss, those facing decisions about next steps, and those trying to hold their relationship together through all of it. My personal experience in this space will never be the exact same as yours and will not be the focus of our time together - it will, however, enable us to have a common understanding of some of the challenges typically faced.

Common Challenges:

• Grief that doesn’t follow a clear path - loss in this space, whether a pregnancy, a cycle, or the family you imagined, is real grief. But often it goes unacknowledged by others, leaving you to mourn quietly and without much room to process

• Isolation and feeling misunderstood - it can be hard to talk openly when those around you may not have been through something similar. Well-meaning comments can land wrong and the loneliness of that relationship gap carries its own kind of weight

• Strain on your relationship - partners often grieve differently, cope differently, and need different things. That can create distance at exactly the moment when you need to feel close

• Identity and self-worth - when family building doesn’t go as planned, it can shake how you see yourself, your body, your future, and your place among friends and family

• Navigating complex decisions - when the future of family is in question, decisions carry enormous emotional weight and complexity

Signs You May Need Additional Support

• You feel consumed - when fertility or loss becomes the lens through which you see everything, its hard to access any part of life that feels untouched by it

• Anxiety or dread that doesn’t lift - waiting for results, dreading certain dates, or feeling a persistent undercurrent of fear or hopelessness

• Growing distance in your relationship - if you and your partner feel less connected, are avoiding conversations, or find yourself grieving in ways that feel incompatible

• Withdrawing from your life - avoiding baby showers, social gatherings, or even close friends because it just feels like too much. Social withdraw is a common and understandable response, but further isolation from support can lead to additional difficulty

• Physical signs of emotional overload - sleep disruption, exhaustion, physical tension, changes in appetite; the body keeps a record of what you are going through, even when you’re doing your best to stay functional and push forward

• Feeling like you’ve lost yourself - struggling to recognize who you are outside of this experience or feel like the version of you that existed before has become hard to access